Almost dying in Japan – part 2

So I returned to my house with a bag full of drugs and a shed of hope that I had hit rock bottom and that from now on things could only get better. But boy was I in for a disappointing surprise.

The weekend was an orgy in pain and fever induced chills and no matter how much I rested and how many pills I swallowed things would not get any better. Pain 24/7 and the fact that I wasn’t eating properly didn’t exactly help. So on Sunday I decided that I should go back to the clinic the following day and have the doc take a second look at the war zone in my throat. Said and done, I crawled out of bed on monday morning and dragged my ass to the clinic. Not so many people there this time so it only took about ten minutes before I could see the doctor.

When I stepped behind the curtain into her examination room she lit up with a smile on her face and started waving a piece of paper. It was the note I had written on friday… In a voice a little bit TOO cheerful she said “Hello again, how is your Japanese progressing?”. Eh, excuse me? I was here three days ago and you saw the pain I was in. Now I’m here again which means I’m still in pain so do you honestly think I spent the week-end improving my japanese skills you stupid cow?

That is what I wanted to say but I was too exhausted to bother so I just said something like “still not there yet…” and tried to fake a smile. She then told me she had taken the note home and showed to her husband and sons who were all amazed.

Great. I have a fan club.

Maybe my close to non-existent reaction made her understand that I wasn’t the least interested in what she was talking about so she took a quick look down my throat (I swear it took like maybe three seconds). Leaned back and said ひどい (hidoi = awful). She then explained that my throat was the worst case she had seen in years and that I should take my sorry ass to a hospital a.s.a.p.

I was actually sort of relieved to hear this since I wanted some proper treatment and not just get a bunch of new pills prescribed. The doctor was kind enough to call the hospital and make an appointment for me immediately so I thanked her and the other staff and jumped into a cab to take me to the hospital which conveniently was only a 3 minute drive away.

Now in my adult life I have never been to a hospital (in any country) for any other reason than to visit friends/relatives who are sick so while sitting in the cab I was actually a bit worried how it would all play out. I mean if you are familiar with hospitals I guess the procedure is the same everywhere and so even though you may not understand exactly what to do or where to go you at least have a clue of what to expect. But being a complete rookie and on top of that being a rookie in a foreign country I pictured before me a hellish day of confusion and misunderstandings. Now luckily, we had the previous week spent several hours learning kanji and words related to hospitals/illnesses which was a blessing since there were about a million counters, stairways and corridors to get lost among. I managed to fill in the necessary forms without any major complications and was finally let in to see the doctor.

He took a quick look at my throat, squeezed my neck and cheeks a couple of times and then simply stated “this is the worst infection I have seen in a VERY long time, you should have come here immediately!”. “Ok, thank you for that information, maybe you should tell your colleague at the clinic” I thought to myself but kept my mouth shut. He then apologized profoundly and said that there were no empty beds at the moment, but if there had been I would be hospitalized immediately. Instead he decided to put me on IV for 4 hours, prescribe the strongest antibiotics and painkillers in their arsenal and told me to come back the following day for check-up and more IV.

The fact that he said the infection was so bad scared me a little but at the same time I was actually pretty happy to not having to stay the night. The main reason for this was that if I would have been hospitalized I would have had to contact my school which in turn surely would have contacted my family at home. Having a mother that goes crazy if I don’t email at least once every week hospitalization would most likely cause a hysterical fit which would have probably been more troublesome than the illness itself. (if I showed you the emails she were sending right after the 3/11 earthquake you would understand, believe me…)

A short and rather jolly nurse came and took me to a bed where I was going to get the IV and while she was preparing the needle, tubes and some other stuff she fired away with the usual battery of questions.

Nurse: Wow, your eyes are so blue and your hair is so blond, where are you from?

Me: Sweden. Have you heard of it?

Nurse: Ah yes, yes of course!!! You have delicious chocolate and you make such nice watches!

Me: Ehum, no that is Switzerland. Sweden is a country in northern Europe.

Nurse: Ahhh. (a few seconds of silence). But you don’t have a beard?

Me: Ehhh. No I guess not.

Nurse: But all vikings have beard. I’ve seen that in a movie.

Me: Well the vikings are long gone I’m afraid.

Nurse: Ahhh what a shame.

Me: Euhm, well… yes… I guess so.

She then hooked me up to the IV and I fell asleep a few minutes later. When she woke me up I could immediately feel that the IV had done its work and I was feeling a whole lot better than I did before I fell asleep. The nurse told me to come again next morning and when I left she said “see you tomorrow viking” and her two colleagues giggled as I walked out the door.

A nice feature of the hospital was the payment procedure upon leaving. You swiped your patient card in a little reader, and then a receipt with a number and a  bar code was printed. You waited until your number appeared on a screen and then proceeded to a machine with a little screen that scanned your bar code and then informed you of how much you had to pay. Being japan the machine of course had a cute little animated nurse (and her pet bird???) that in an almost erotic voice was guiding you through the whole procedure. After paying you got your receipt and the prescription for your drugs which you could then pick up in a window next to the machines. Needless to say, I LOVE japanese efficiency. In my country the same procedure would probably have been handled by a not so cute living nurse with a not so erotic voice and it would surely have taken at least three times as much time.

This procedure repeated itself the following five days. I had an incredibly boring week which consisted of visiting the hospital every morning, answering the same questions, getting IV and then going home to rest and watch TV for the rest of the day. The subsequent days I was deemed well enough to not having to lay down while getting the IV. Instead I had to sit next to the place where they sterilized used equipment which meant I could not sleep during the 3 hour IV session which was sort of irritating. And since cellphones had to be switched off and reading with one hand was more trouble than it was worth the only thing that could amuse me was this stuffed animal, which in fact wasn’t fun at all but the nurses seemed to enjoy me fiddling with it and occasionally burst out in a high pitch かわいい！！！(kawaii = that is so cute/adorable!). Yeah I’m adorable…

After one week i was almost back to 100% of my normal self and went to the hospital for one final check-up. Everything was fine according to the doctor but to be on the safe side he prescribed a new load of drugs to take the following week just in case. Great, more drugs which meant no alcohol and I was having major cravings for a beer. Upon leaving the short jolly nurse said she was so happy to have had the chance to meet a viking in real life and asked me if we could take a picture together. Of course I had to hold the stuffed animal while posing with her which made the other nurses burst out in the loudest かわいい I have ever heard but she had been so nice to me the whole week that I figured it was the least I could do for her. She promised to email me the picture but I guess she forgot about that since I am still waiting for it…

Even though I have never felt so bad  for such a long period of time in my whole life it was an interesting experience and I apparently lost 5 kg due to the lack of eating which I am not going to complain about. Winter has not yet arrived to the japanese islands (it was over 20 degrees Celsius this week-end) but I am wearing layers of clothes and thick scarves none the less. No more hospital visits this year I hope!

Thank’s for reading!

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